Values are guides to action. How do we understand the dimensions of a value, what it includes and what is not action or feeling that reflects this value? Here, we take a look at the various aspects of a value.
Our values are our guides to action. Values are our codes of internal conduct, the principles upon which we run our lives and make our decisions. Our values are first transmitted to us by our parents, and these are developed, expanded, tested in experience.
people impress values upon us, such as those values given to us by our childhood friends, our teachers, the wider community. Advertising pushes values onto us. The value of looking beautiful, the value of pleasure (eat these hamburgers), the value of enjoyment (drink this). Values are presented to us from many different parts of our lives.
Our moral values can often come from our culture and faith systems. The Ten Commandments present values for living. The Golden Rule shares a common value of caring for our neighbour as we would like to be cared for. The strongest impression we ever get of human values is the example set by another person.
Our values include universal values – truthfulness, peace, love, right conduct and non-violence. These principles are within us at birth and need to be elicited and put into practice; they are the foundation of human excellence. We can often work out what values are present in a situation/or an event/or a reaction (our own)(someone else’s) when we analyse the actions of ourselves or others, for actions are based on choices, and choices show what our values are.
Yes, that is a bit complicated, so let’s look at it.
Exploring Love as a Value
Exploring Love as a Value
If we explore the dimensions of a value, we are looking to see describing words, what a value does for me, for others; we look to see what behaviour shows this value. For example,what do people do that shows love? How do loving people behave? What does Love look like? What does Love not look like? What is the limits of love? Let us explore briefly, using the diagram above
What is love? Some say being kind, showing sympathy, taking up friendship. How do we feel when we practice Love? We might feel empathy, we might feel appreciation, we might feel gratitude. How do others feel when they practice Love? Others might be feeling kindness, happiness, and loyalty when they are practicing love. What are the challenges in practicing Love as a value? Some might be engaging in idealization or infatuation with another person. There might be misperception of love being returned. Inappropriate attachment might also be a challenge in practicing love.
We could ask what Love looks like. (We are not talking about Cupid firing arrows, nor Valentine’s Day and chocolates…) Love as an adjective looks like resilience, inner strength, a self-sustaining energy within; it can also look like dignity and self-respect. The benefits of Love as a value are clear: mental health, steadiness, purpose, vision. We move on with the diagram and look to the Limits of Love: Love is emotional regulation, respect for autonomy, service to others, caring for others. When we examine the Limits of Love, it is not being manipulated, not controlled, nor abused. Love is not hate, disdain, bullying.
We might take one more step and give a one liner how (possibly) the 16 MBTI types might express Love as a Human Value:~
- ISTJ – My commitment is my Love
- ISFJ – My service is my Love
- INFJ – In the light of Love
- INTJ – Love is the Obvious thing
- ISTP – Love is my play
- ISFP – Love is my artwork
- INFP – Love is the Impossible Dream
- INTP – Love is the Big Picture
- ESTP – Love is what I do!
- ESFP – Love is what WE do!
- ENFP – Love is the Cabaret of Life
- ENTP – Love is my Inspiration
- ESTJ – Love is my big plan
- ESFJ – Love is Harmony
- ENFJ – Love is Authentic Harmony!
- ENTJ – Love is Fairness and Equity
This page is © Rev. Chris Parnell, who learned about type in 1975; completed a workshop with Isabel Briggs Myers in 1980 and is a member of the Australian Association for Psychological Type. He completed a Diploma in Human Values in 2004. ✺ All Rights Reserved.